Ms Pollack, First of all, I must say I read your piece about your medical trials and tribulations before I read this one about dating. I was unaware of your background, so please forgive me if I appeared to be presumptuous in suggesting we should correspond.
You are a physicist. I have only read about physics, such as Carlo Rovelli's books. I want-to-be an engineer, but I lack math skills, so I read Nassim Taleb's books about how randomness rules our lives.
You are a writer—I aspire to be one. Re-reading your pieces has made me realize how professional they sound, how they flow from one thought to another, and how they held my interest.
You were or are a professor. I can only say that several professors I met in my few years in college left a lasting impression on me. I am sure that many of your students will or do feel the same way about you.
One area that I have some experience with is dating. I have been married three times before I met a woman who would put up with me. I never thought about what I wanted in a girlfriend except that she would be able to talk about things beyond the trivia of life. When I would go to a girl's house or apartment, the first thing I looked for were books. No books, and I knew we would never connect. The only other thing was that she was smart - preferably smarter than I think I am. My wife is smarter than I am; we have been married for about 40 years.
I was a general contractor for many years, and once I had the pleasure of working in the apartment of a very smart woman who was an executive at a large company. She showed me a picture of her very attractive friend. She told me that she couldn't get a date because she made so much money and was so smart. Men were afraid of her - once again, the fragile male ego. You probably suffer from the same problem if I may be so bold. Many men are afraid of very intelligent women. They don't know what they are missing!
In Philadelphia, where I had my business and was introduced to some Jewish culture, the word "Yenta" meant talkative and could be applied to men as well as women. I have been told that I qualify.
Maybe corresponding with an old Goy will be considered a mitsveh and help to get you written into the Book of Life for another year. If so, my email is ewhackett@gmail.com and please put Ned in subject line.